Sunday, March 18, 2012

(Making an attempt at) Understanding the will of God

As I sit writing this, my 36 year old brother is sitting in an intensive care unit hospital room beside the bed of the 35 year old love of his life.  He holds her hand as constantly as he can.  He sings to her.  He talks to her.  He prays.  He begs God to make her whole again for him and his young beautiful children.


His love for her is second to no one except God.  They love God.  They do His will.  They bring their children up to love Him and obey Him.

What good could this unbelievably stressful trial accomplish for those who already love Him SO much?

And yet, we read in God's word:

And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.  Romans 8:28

I don't understand this.  I don't understand this at all.  But I have to trust God. I am a very inquisitive person.  I ask alot of questions. (That is most likely where Byron gets it from.) And I have to trust that whatever happens is what He intended, especially when I don't know all the answers.

I leave for Florida on Monday.  I am pleading with God to let her be sitting up and talking to everyone when I arrive. 

I ask that you pray this pray with me please. 
Pray for healing. 
Pray for strength. 
Pray for safe travel. 
Pray for answers. 

Just PRAY...

Thursday, March 1, 2012

What a Perfect Day for a Picnic!!!!

With just slightly too much wind, it turned out to be a beautiful day.  So I decided to indulge the boys in a picnic! 
And Sugar the dog didn't even bother them....much....

 But she did pout just a little bit.  I ended up giving her the leftovers from lunch plus the leftover roast and potatoes from Sunday, so I think she pretty much forgave me. :)

Tuesday, January 31, 2012


Disclaimer:  If your feelings are sensitive, please just stop reading now.  I have had this on my mind and heart, and this is the place I can spill it.  If I don't get it out in the open, I may very well implode.  So for my own sanity and mental health, here I go.  You have been warned....

I feel like somewhere along the way, my hypothetical train has jumped off the track.  Not bumped a little.  Not slid to one direction.  Not slowed down.  Jumped completely off track....

If you know what Kevin does for a living, you might find this analogy appropriately comical.  (He is the plant manager at a railcar repair facility and has a sign hanging on his wall that says "Still plays with trains".)

At the last "amen" of practically every worship service, I find my self heaving (not breathing....heaving) a sigh of relief.  The root of this is simply the thought that runs through my mind.  "We made it through another service."  My spirituality suffers because of it.  I think, "Why do I even bother to be here?" My sanity suffers from it when I think, "Why is it so much easier for that parent??"  I know this is not right or correct.  I should be strong enough to get through it with grace and style, and I should always know that I am there teaching, at the very least, the basic principals of simply assembling with the saints.  You may not agree with this or think it is right, but that is just how I feel...

I read a blog recently that was titled Not Carpe Diem.  The basis of it was the fact that every mother before those of us with young children begging us to enjoy every moment of the day-to-day life that we will miss so much when it is over because it goes by so fast.  I get that.  I do.  But as this woman said, can you really savor every moment?

I have two very energetic, vocal, borderline-hyperactive young boys.  Plus, they have been raised on a farm.  That basically means there hasn't been very many moments of "Be sure not get close to/in the street" or "Be quiet or the neighbors will hear you!"  There is lots of mud playing, top-of-your-lungs screaming, running wild, pig pens, dog chasing, peeing-in-the-yard (after all, what better way to potty train than to let them pee in the grass?) boy "stuff". This is not refined.  This is frowned upon by lots of people.  But this is what we do.  It's what empties the most energy, and frankly, I enjoy the ruggedness of it too.  It's surprisingly slower paced than most people get to enjoy.  You can witness so very much of God's creation right here in the yard, and I can sit and think about how it might have been years ago in simpler times.  It is my life, and Thank You, God, for that...

However, it makes "life in town" a little more difficult.  It is harder to sit still in church.  It is harder to be quiet in the grocery store. Still and Quiet are boring. (I'm just guessing that this is what goes on in their minds.)  I find myself frustrated, upset, patience-worn, and stressed.  I don't think anyone would say, "Be so very happy that these children are fighting in the car!"  I don't think there is a perfect parent on the planet. If you claim to be, you, my friend, are a liar. :) (Said with love of course.)

The fact is I enjoy, love, adore, and am unbelievably grateful that God gave me these three beautiful, healthy, passionate, frustrating, annoying, lovable, amazing children. Aside from my husband, these are my three greatest blessings in life.  I appreciate the opinions of others, but I beg you to keep it to yourself. (Not "you" specifically reading this post...) 

Here is the way I see it:

God gave these children to me.  There are lots of people who, in my opinion (which they don't ask for), shouldn't be allowed to have children.   However, I take my parenting responsiblilties very seriously.  My children are not always never quiet.  They are not always seldom well behaved.  They cry sometimes because they don't want to go to church again.  They cry because they don't want to leave church to go home.  They touch everything.  They are annoying.  But these are my children.  If you had been lucky enough to have received them, you could have done it however you saw fit.  But the truth is, in this life, they belong to me.

Admittedly, I don't do it all right. In fact, I very seldom do something right.  We really are stressful just to watch, much less spend any time with.  But at the end of the day when I hear things like "Mommy, I need a kiss right now or I will DIE!!", "You are my best mommy ever!" and my child comes to me, gives me a hug so tight it hurts and says "That was because it's I love you day!" I have somewhere done at least a few small, but very important, things right.

I am (lucky for me) a stay-at-home mom.  I get to be there for my kids.  I get to annoy them more than alot of other moms get to. ;)  I get to drop everything for the smallest reason just to experience their lives with them.  I hope, when they have children of their own, they remember me being there with them in the most important moments--and all of the not-so-important ones, too.  I also hope that they allow me to experience life with their children as much as I can, too.  When I became a mother almost 13 years ago (?!?!?!), I didn't take it on as a project until they were out of high school, or college, or married with a family of their own.  I took it on for the rest of my days on earth.  God willing, I get to be here for many more years of this.  The frustrations, the heartaches, the pulling-out-my-hair times, and all of those WONDERFUL moments mixed in with it...

Now, if you will excuse me, I need to investigate why they are yelling so loudly in the yard that it sounds like they are killing each other after I have already been out there once to tell them to stay out of the mud.... :)


Monday, October 10, 2011

Just a typical day

These are in absolutely no order.  Just thought I would share some everyday life...

Good night kisses

Love of my life

We built some fences last week. :)

Had a few makeovers...

Might not have been incredibly happy about it...

But got to be a little more grown up...

The fences aren't always for the animals.  Well, not the four-legged ones....

I know... super boring....but its my life and I LOVE it!!!!

Friday, September 30, 2011

Like Father, Like Son

There are some traits in your children that you just can't fight...

There is a farmer down the road who lines up his tractors and equipment.  Every time we drive by, Byron says, "Dad needs to line up his tractors like that."

We recently had to upgrade our tractor storage, so we got a bigger bucket.  Byron was very upset with me for just dumping them all in at once and not lining them up properly in the bottom.  When he finally decided he would let me win that one, he just messed them all up together.  I love that kid! :)

Friday, August 12, 2011


I'm not entirely sure, but I think he may have found the chocolate....