Tuesday, November 30, 2010

November 2010

I haven't blogged very well in the past months. I have been struggling...alot. I shouldn't be. I am abundantly blessed, in every way. But I just didn't feel like ME. I cried alot. I yelled alot. I was too distant. I didn't enjoy the little things. I even questioned what purpose church really played in my life. I wasn't rejoicing.

Several people would ask me if I was ok. People who knew me. And then my daughter came to me and said, "Mom, are you ok?" I knew it was time to figure out what was going on. My husband was by my side as I went to discuss my problems with my doctor. He spoke for me when he knew by the look on my face that I couldn't speak for myself. He knows me better than anyone else, and he missed me. I was here, but I wasn't here.

My doctor suggested I begin taking an antidepressant. I didn't want to be one of those people. The subject is so widely discussed now, but there is still a HUGE stigma attached to it. Suprisingly enough, there are more people out there than I ever realized that struggle with the same things I am struggling with. I took his advice and almost immediately felt a difference. I feel like me. And I am one of those people.

I am a woman dealing with depression.

I had more fun with my children tonight than I have had in more months than I care to remember. This is a joke in our family, but I laughed so hard that I snorted. :) I haven't laughed that hard in a very long time.

Sadly, I did miss alot of picture taking opportunites, but I did get some. Here is a brief overview of what has been going on this month...
Just a beautiful day outside.
Tub time--always fun :)
Could anyone resist those blue eyes?

This boy absolutely melts my heart.
Byron thought Collin should be looking at me, so he tried to help out. Luckily, it didn't end in any tears....this time.
My beautiful daughter on her ELEVENTH birthday. How in the world did this happen? She is my baby!
Maw Maw made her a pumpkin pie! YUM!
Collin like to browse through the remains left on the table after everyone has vacated. He always finds something he likes, even if there was the exact thing on his plate. Must taste better off of someone else's....
My two sweet boys in front of the Christmas tree this year. I haven't gotten Abby's picture yet. These amazing pictures happened by accident. I never try to pose my kids like this. It stresses me out too much, and I know that if I have the camera handy I can catch my moment eventually. This is how the last several Christmas pictures have come to be. Last year, I tried to pose Byron several times to get a decent picture. He finally smiled properly after being promised a ride on the cotton stripper if he cooperated. It took me 47 pictures....literally.
That smile is going to get this kid whatever he wants...I am in deep trouble....

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